Saturday, January 10, 2015

tanka


Jane Reichhold is an artisan of many mediums.  We participants of the Carpe Diem Haiku Kai have the honor of her being our teacher.  We can send questions and she graciously answers in depth our queries. The most recent of the lessons is in regard tanka, a forerunner of the haiku.  To learn more of this click here.

SOMBER GIRL

She never saw fire
from heaven or hotly fought  
with God; but her eyes
smolder for Hiroshima
and the cold death of Buddha.

(c) Philip Appleman


Here was my first run at the tanka.

the cardinal couple        (set outside, nature, a pair)
share the feeder
icicle air                        (is the a bridge or not?)
lonely husband              (juxtaposition to the couple but the over used loneliness)
prepares a single meal   (change of location but nor really a change of voice)

the cardinal couple
share the feeder
in the cold air
while he winces as angry words
fly from my cruel mouth

the patio feeder is host
to the cardinal couple on
a cold gloomy day
we share jokes and laugh
while preparing a beef pie

©  Janice Adcock

Oh, well.  I gave it a try.

Thanks to Chèvrefeuille for daily prompts on 

CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI



Post a Comment