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Sunday, November 15, 2015


What is hard?  In your life, what is hard?  Watching the news with the daily loss of life due to hate.  That is hard.  The aches and pains of old age is hard.  In youth the eternal angst of growing up is hard.  Diamonds and granite are hard.  Persons with depression find just functioning to be hard.  Parenting is hard.  Studying is hard.

The last several months our family has watched the oldest nephew endure the results of his life choices.  He is in end stage liver disease.  On November 5 he was moved to an ICU room.  He remains there in 'stable critical' condition.  The previous week he and his mother, my 79 year old sister, had spent 6 days going through the rigors of testing.  Eighteen appointments in five days to determine if he qualified for a liver transplant.

By November 9 his kidneys along with the liver had stopped functioning.  Valiant efforts are being made from intubation, dialysis and induced paralysis to keep him alive for the liver and now kidney transplants.  My sister, who is his primary caregiver, has been on a roller coaster emotional ride.  Twice she has been told no hope.  One last test showed continued brain function.  So his battle continues as he seems to be able to hear and feel.

In a lifetime one stands bedside as elderly loved ones moved toward death.  Watched the monitor become a flat line.  Watched respiration cease.  Even watched as the code team gave CPR to my husband.  That was terrifying.  The battle my sister and her son are fighting is being harder due to the length of time.  The uncertainty of the outcome of even a transplant process.  And the waiting.  His sister, brother, daughter and son join his mother and an aunt in the waiting.  The long, seemingly endless waiting.  That is hard......

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