Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I'm Baackkkk! Well, Sort Of.

In the process of preparing for knee replacement, I spent several weeks arranging, rearranging, sorting, storing and tossing out in the trash all sorts of things.  Re-purposing furniture, accessories and about anything that "got in my crosshairs".  Scanning, packing and shipping to Texas and India small treasures from my heart and closets in one case!  Getting "things" in place for guests in the event of the passing of one of the three very ill older members of our family.  Preparing and freezing meals for quick access for Gene during recovery.

And one last thing before the sunset on Feb, 20, was I walked out in my yard and moved a clay pot that was covering some daffodil leaves fighting for sunlight.  About 1/10 of the leaves were outside the pot's cover.  They were green and healthy.  The uncovered leaves were almost as long as the green neighbors.  The leaves were a pale yellow being denied sunshine, the source of life giving chlorophyll.

Dinner with Gene and JohnRoger, a few last minute phone calls, the sanibath and bed filled the remainder of the night. The next morning I walked/limped into Mercy Hospital about 7 AM, Feb. 21.  I entered a vacuum of self absorption.

John, Edna & My Man Gene
Two weeks have passed since I went under the knife of Dr. Richard Seagrave.  This morning the 21 staples holding my knee together were removed very uneventfully!  No prosthesis popped out to strike me or the nurse in the eye.  Almost no red fluids.  And the sensation was not as bad a say pulling nasal hair.

I can almost stand without aid on just my right leg.  Probably could if I had someones permission but I do not want to mess up all the good work.  Four more PT home sessions.  Then onto outpatient therapy for as long as ins. chooses to pay or until I feel confident.   And the pain is almost non existent,  mostly just muscle stiffness.

Momma cuddles new great granddaughter, Dec, 2011
Yesterday I found myself processing the accumulation of emotions over the last two plus weeks.  So much more than just knee surgery.  The loss of not one but two beloved aunts.  A friends' loss of their man child.  And the continued decline of Edna in small little bits.  I looked at my backyard that was dry, windblown and just sort of dismal.  That was how the center of my soul felt.

So I did what I still have the opportunity to do, I called my mommy.  And we cried together about Aunt Sissy who was Mom's best friend before Daddy came into the picture.  And I was cuddled in my Mom's arms once again.

Momma, Aunt Sissy, Aunt Billie and
Daddy, circa 1980's.
After hanging up I began pushing myself to look to new horizons and projects.  I began to work on some projects for UMW and some personal stuff, too.

Gene returned from the funeral and brought chocolate.  JR called in the evening.   It is always a treat to hear his voice.  And my Aunt Billie, sister to Aunt Sissy and Daddy, called checking on my knee progress.  In the span of a few hours my spirit was lifted by my family.  I let them do the lifting.  That is hard for me, to let someone else carry the load.
Coach John, 2011

This morning I was making my first set of laps from my bedroom, across the living room, through the kitchen and back down the hall to my bedroom.  I stopped at the window for just a moment.  There in the middle of what only 2 weeks ago was a sad bunch of yellow daffodil leaves was an amazing thing.  The leaves are now dark green which offset the new yellow daffodil bobbing in the wind.

The daffodil bulbs could not lift the pot from them.  They needed me.  I could not pull myself from the   sadness of loss.  I needed my family to lift the "pot" covering my soul.  And without being asked, they lifted the pot and let the sunshine of their love flood over me.  I feel the bud of hope returning to my soul.

And once again in my life love has lifted me.


Post a Comment