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Friday, April 5, 2013

Yeah, Still Have the Crud

This morning I awoke both myself and Gene with loud coughing.  Then I noticed the pounding headache.  It was 6fricking15 AM.  Thought if I would just get up, get some clothes on and move around maybe I would give all the gook in my head a different direction to, well, gook around.  I changed from PJs into work cloths and started doing a little cleaning.  Why?  Cause we were hosting friends over for dominoes tonight.  The headache eased a little and a lozenge eased the cough.  "This may just work", I thought.

I finished cleaning bathrooms and moved to the kitchen to mix some homemade roll dough.  That is the moment I remembered the undefinable hard goo I had noticed in the bottom of the fridge as I was putting away groceries.  Knowing immediately it would need to soak, I had poured some water between the vegetable drawers.  That was day before yesterday.  So, today, before being completely embarrassed by the now watery,yucky goo puddle, I began the task of cleaning the fridge bottom.

Cleaning my refrigerator is a task that requires agility, concentration and flexibility.  I am certain these acrobatics are the result of a sadistic design engineer in the bowels of GE 30 years ago.  The disassemble of the refrigerator to reach the bottom is not a task I relish on a good day.   The removal of multiple shelves and drawers should not be as difficult as it is.  But friends must not be exposed to the goo.

The one sealed snack drawer and supporting shelf were simple enought to remove.  The glass shelf did try to jump off the counter but I successfully caught it mid fall.  One of the three bottom drawers came out relatively easily.  The two remaining drawers refused to be removed this morning.  I was forced to bring a roll of paper towels over and wipe the soupy goo out as far as possible with just the one drawer out of the way.  The middle drawer finally took mercy on me and allowed me to slide it aside so the middle section could be reached.  With the addition of more water and cleaner, I managed to get all of the softened goo off the bottom.  Well, except for one place beside the one, non-budging drawer.  Damn it!

By that time all the bending, squatting and contorting had successfully relocated the gook.  Unfortunately it had moved from my sinuses into my throat and stomach.  I was coughing, gagging and dry heaving.  It was getting ugly quickly.  So I stood still for a couple of minutes only to have the room begin spinning.  Once the room moved from 75 rpm to about 33.3 rpm I accessed the situation.  Still needed to get all the perishables replaced in the cold, make rolls and cook dinner for 6,  I gave up on the the little sliver of goo.  In the process of putting the draws and shelves back they all got "a lick and a promise" .  The sealed snack shelf was lopsided of course, so I re-installed it blessing the engineer all the while.

I managed to get the stupid shelves and drawers back together and perishables in the cold.  Still coughing and stomach rolling I grabbed a bag of crackers and cup of hot tea.  I plopped in my easy chair and wrapped up in a favorite throw.  No yeast roll dough had been made.  The trash can full of goo soaked wet paper towels sat in the middle of the kitchen floor.  And I thought, "how am I going to cook and enjoy friends tonight?'  I put the heating pad on my neck that was a mass of tension by then.  I'll give myself till 8:00 AM, about 30 minutes, to see if I can get on top of this nausea and still have some fun tonight was my thought.

Nope, the tea and crackers did not settle down anythings.  8:15 AM arrived and I started making calls.  Yeah, you do not want to be with me, I still have the Crud.  And one sliver of goo that I could not reach.

Word for act of cleaning a refrigerator?  Identifutilation

Word for act of cleaning a refrigerator?  Identifutilation
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