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Friday, September 26, 2014

Please, Help Me I''m Falling

Not sure just when it started happening but I stumble and fall a lot.  I am thinking that there are maybe three categories for my falls. Physical impairment, impaired vision due to head up my butt and just plainly careless.  I fell a couple of weeks ago while running errands with my sister.  Her reaction, she later told me, was basically what is she doing now?  Why is she lying on the sidewalk?  Then it hit her that I had fallen yet again.  That one was a result of not lifting my knee high enough to compensate for the flip flop to clear the curb.  It flipped, I flopped.  Mostly bruised ego and stiff shoulder for a few days.

Many years ago I missed the bottom step off our front porch.  That resulted in a pretty badly sprained ankle. I was preparing for some unexpected company that had called to say they would be dropping in to spend the night in a couple of hours.  We were remodeling at the time so there was tons of stuff to clear out for folks to be able to have a place to sleep.  I stepped outside for a smoke break and a lot of stuff did not get moved after that.  That was definitely an anal-recta-vision issue (head up ones butt) situation.

Anytime we attend events that involve open air stadium bleacher seating the subject of bleacher surfing comes up.  The ability to surf bleachers is in direct proportion to three things:  to the amount of drizzling rain, the lack of shoe traction and overenthusiastic fan.  It involves slipping on one bleacher, remaining upright and sliding across several bleacher seats.  The winner is anyone who does no encounter permanent injury. Bruises are to be expected.  I am a professional class bleacher surfer.  This was a careless fall.

For decades the cartilage in my (now replaced) knee liked to cause pain.  Pieces would break off and roll around under the knee cap.  Hit on the knee just right taking a step, walking up of down stairs or getting out of a car and I was down.  It reached the point that tuck and roll became the norm for me.  During my son's early college days we were taking him to a nicer restaurant.  I was in heels and dress slack outfit.  Halfway across the parking lot, I found myself heading for the ground.  A young couple were rushing to help the (considered by them) old lady.  They scowled at my son as he said, "Nice fall, Mom.  You tucked and rolled perfect!"  Husband came to assist me in getting off the ground.  He was shaking his head the whole time.  I ruined the stockings that time.  This was a knee gave out fall.   To read of another fall from grace and ensuing empathy from my two guys you can click here.

I have fallen in unseen holes that were covered by leaves multiple times.  Fallen on the front porch by not  realizing how close I was to the small step.  I hit wrong on the back door step and fell onto the concrete patio.  I fell at Disney World.  I've tripped over dogs and cats and did silly dances to keep from falling.  Once in particular I was hurrying from the laundry room to our bedroom with an arm full of clothing.  I needed to use the bathroom.  Without warning I found myself flailing about having tripped over Sam, the golden retriever.  She is jumping up so as not to be stepped on while I am trying to gain control of my bladder, feet and the clothes.  The clothes lost, Sam yelped but I made it to the potty.  I did have to refold that load of clothing.

Okay, enough of my falling tales.  Join the slipping and sliding over at The Spin Cycle.

Thanks to The Spin Cycle Host Ginny Marie

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