Emotions

Emotions.  Pretty simple word to describe such a driving force in so much we do as humans.  Think of all the times you say any of the following:  I am so happy;  sad;  angry;  mad;  irritated.  I am feeling overwhelmed;  lonely;  lost;  out of sync;  guilty;  embarrassed;  ashamed.  Just to name a few of my favorites.

A friend's husband passed away within a few weeks after being diagnosed with cancer.  I had seen her just last week at the grocery store.  We cried a bit together.  But she sure seemed prepared to face the coming weeks of caring for her husband of 50 + years.  Within 48 hours he was gone to a better place with no pain.  Of course my friend is left with a huge empty place in her life.  I feel so sad for her in this loss.

After Gene's near death experience in 2007, it was hard to understand why he was spared and others were not.  Within months one of my sorority sisters lost her husband.  I felt joy that I still had Gene but guilt at the same time.  Almost embarrassed to be around the friend that lost her husband.

Emotions at times drive poets, song writers, speakers, listeners, voters, politicians and even business persons at times.  If you do not believe emotions do not influence business, tune into the floor of the stock market.  The potential of a shortage of some materials or raw products can sent stocks into a spiral.  Just look at farm product futures during droughts, floods or storms.  If you cannot ride a roller coaster better steer clear of watching stock prices of the futures market.

Emotions tonight for me include sadness for my friend's loss and sadly overwhelmed by the depressed state of our mothers' attitudes.  There are only so many times you can hear your mom say she just does not want to wake up again without it having a negative effect on your own attitude and your emotions.

But the overriding emotion I feel tonight is joy.  The joy of still looking across the room at Gene.  The joy of having friends.  The joy of a phone call from our son.  Our son who is 39 years old at 7:15 PM tomorrow night.  Something that started with feelings of love and passion has brought such joy for so many, many years.  And three wonderful grandson to boot!  So I will take the negative feelings to be able to experience the joy of the motherhood emotions.

Two of my greatest joys, Gene and John Roger, circa 1975