Living Life, August 30, 2021

A lifelong friendship all started with our great grandparents, Burilla Morris and Albert Chandler. Burilla gave birth to Marvin Monroe, John, Etha, Iva, Virgil, and others I do not remember.  Like so many in that day and time children were assets for working family farms.  Families were large and many stayed in the same communities for their entire lives.  That fact was true for Burilla's family descendants.  Her father had headright 8 sections of land in North Texas.  That land was subsequently divided among his descendants.  

Tintype of Albert Chandler.

Marvin Chandler and the hair was red!

Aunt Iva and Aunt Ethie (Etha)

  

 

 Gravestones of the two sisters and brother pictured above.   

Because several of the Descendants of Lite T. Morris remaining in the area known as Chambersville I was related to many in the community.  My Mom was big on those connections and maintaining the relationships.  Grandaddy Chandler married my grandmother a few years after the death of his first wife.  Granny Chandler brought new blood as she migrated from Newport Tennessee.  Aunt Ethie married John Drury.  Each family had children.  Aunt Ethie had Lucille (Drury) Anderson.  Grandaddy had my Mom, Mary (Chandler) Rogers.

Mom and Lucille ended up having children close in age.  Lucille had a son, Dean.  Mom gave birth to Sis #2, Suzie.  Those two were born in 1940.  The outbreak of WWII delayed the birth of their next two.  Me, born in December 1946, and Reba Jane was born in April 1947.  With our births, a lifelong friendship began.  

Reba and I grew up less than 2 miles from each other.  We were together in the small country church in first in our mothers' arms.   As we grew we attended Sunday school.   We sat side by side from kindergarten through high school.  We sat on the pew and draped our ponytails over the back of the pew.  We learned to hula hoop and dance with each other.  I remember making mud pies causing the well to run dry as we failed to turn the faucet off when finished.  We surely were in trouble for that one. Her mother saw the angry dad coming to the house and called for us to run.  "Quick, go to the bedroom and climb out the window".   Lucille saved our bottoms from a spanking by Reba's dad!

Pickup sticks were another favorite game for us in the early 1950s.  We were maybe 5 years old at the time of this incident.  For some unknown reason one day I just picked up one of the sticks, which were pointed.  I stuck her in the top of her head with it.  She teared up to cry as it had hurt her.  She then asked why I did that.  My only answer was, "I guess I'm just a brat".  We would laugh about that incident almost every time we saw each other.

There are so many wonderful memoried times of Reba and me together.  Horseback rides at Mrs. Rachel's on some Sunday afternoons.  Singing the "Chipmunk" song and giggling endlessly.  Playing with the Potato Head family.  Dropping rotten eggs from the barn loft and sliding in the grain bins.  Sing in the church choir during revivals and Christmas programs.  Riding our bikes and eating bologna sandwiches with lots of mustard.  All the activities one would put in childhood, tween, and teen years were there for Reba and me.  

50th High School Reunion

In high school, our circle of friends changed somewhat.  My folks had moved from the farming community to a small village about 15 miles away.  For 3 years my parents transferred me back to the high school where Reba and others from the farming community attended.  We still shared Christmas gifts and would visit each other on the weekends for sleepovers.  For the last two years of high school, I began attending the school in the little village.  That led to yet different circles of friends.  

Reba was an attendant at my wedding party.  She was one of the first people I called after the birth of our son.  During my parents' 50th-anniversary celebration Reba and I stood together looking at the memorabilia.  We four sisters had included such plain items at the iron skillet that was given to my parents as a wedding gift.  As Reba looked at the water dipper used for a common drinking cup tears welled in her eyes.  She said, "I can still taste that sweet water we would drink from that dipper."  We fell into a hug.  Reba's parents had passed away almost a decade ago.  Seeing that dipper brought back her childhood. A flood of memories of her childhood with her parents.  Her parents that I considered my other parents.

Life brought so many changes.  My little family moved two states away from that small farming community.  Reba remained in the general area of the farming community staying close to her extended family.  She became a well-respected pharmacist, serving at different levels of the profession.  Reba and I would touch base at birthdays and holidays.  Sitting together at the Harvest Festival in that small country church where we first sat closely together as toddlers.

A text message late on the evening of July 15 changed this lifelong relationship forever.  Word reached me that Reba had passed away.  That had to be wrong was all I could think.  There was no mention of any sickness on the birthday contact in April.  I texted another long-time friend that still lived in the area.  This friend called me immediately.   The worst was true.  After the April 8th birthday contact, during a yearly doctor's visit in late May, some questionable results were returned.   Further testing revealed bile duct cancer.   In less than 6 weeks the quick-moving cancer took my lifelong best friend from me forever. 

Hubby and I attended the family visitation and funeral.  Interment was in the cemetery across from the small church.  I had felt as if my childhood had been ripped from me.  Reba had been such an integral part of so many memories.  We had to drive by the location of Reba's childhood home.  While I had thought it would be devasting it was in fact healing.  Seeing others from early childhood in the farming community was a balm.  Shared stories and memories lifted the weight of the loss of my friend Reba.  A birthday party for my sister prompted me to think about texting Reba.  Instead, I just sent thoughts into the otherworld.  I'll always have Reba in my heart and soul.

TJM Funeral - Obituaries - Reba - Anderson