Birthday Trip

An early December birthday is, well, usually pretty crummy.  It typically falls in the week following Thanksgiving.  We are still too full of turkey, dressing, etc to even want to think about another party.  With cake.  As a youth Mom would make me an angel food cake and that was about it.  One year my life long BFF spent the night.  Exciting stuff, right?  I decided this year would be different.  A trip to the coast was going to do it! Two nights on the Gulf Coast in December should work.  This decision took place in early October.

Before my aunt passed and before I realized I needed to take my mom to a wedding in Dallas in mid October.  A few weeks before the three day camp trip followed by a week of bronchitis.  Still coughing I headed back to Dallas for a classmate's annual holiday gathering.  Helped my Sis decorate her house.  Came home and began preparing for Thanksgiving football and all the food the next day.  No way could we have expected Mom to lose her eyesight that day.  Weird, unheard of problem called giant cell arteritis.  Four days before we were to leave on The Birthday Trip.  Sis convinced me to go keep my appointment with my birthday celebration trip.

I gotta say that by the middle of November I had already begun to search to see if I could reschedule until in say -- February.  Nope.  On Tuesday, December 2, we set off in our CMax hybrid for the warm beaches of South Padre Island.  We never arrived at the warm beaches.  We did arrive to 46 degree, rainy, windy South Padre Island.  Our hotel was roughly 100 yards from ocean edge but on Dec. 3 when we looked out of our third story balcony, there was mostly fog.  There was the sound of the ocean to reassure me that we were indeed at the beach.

After a breakfast overlooking the foggy beach we ventured out onto the beach.  It was beautiful.  The surf and shorebirds played tag as we watched.  Flocks of gulls mimicked the waves in an undulating dance in the air.  Winter Texans, folks living in the area during winter months, were exercising on the beach.  My hubby snapped photos of birds for me.  I had left the new camera in the room.  He gave me time to just enjoy the smell, the breeze, the feeling of walking on packed sand ......the joy of the moment.

Those minutes on the beach were worth the longer than expected drive.  Those moments were worth the guilt feelings for not going to care for my mom.  All those years with no celebrations.  I would be 68 years old the next day.  I was with the man I love.  We would go on to spend several hours exploring the island, the bird center, enjoying fresh seafood and fine wine.  Tons of photos were taken and are are yet to be processed.  That means now I will get to slow down long enough to relive the beauty of that trip.  My first ever Birthday Trip.  And, may I add, my last.  Too close to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

childhood dreams-

cakes, angels and fire

Happy Trails!

©  Janice Adcock

Carpe Diem Ghost Writer #40 "Kikobun" by Hamish Managua Gunn

Thanks to Chèvrefeuille for daily prompts on 

CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI

Is This Wednesday, Again?

Is there an app to sync one's brain with the universe's time?  Well, the time according to whoever invented days of the week.  Cause if there is such an app, I am needing to download it ASAP.  I usually have a 'frame of reference' for keeping track of time and space.  This finely tuned referencing system has been completely blown to itty bitty pieces.

For instance, in my Missouri life I would have referenced maybe the day the folks made an offer on the house.  Or the day I made a trip to such and such event or farewell party.  Possibly a highlight such as the day we closed on our house.  I remember the day I went to the Plan Shoppe in Garland, Texas, was February, 24, 1969.  That was the day following the burial of my maternal grandmother.

But the last six weeks have been like a machine gun of 'frames of reference'.  Like just since Monday morning, yes, that was the day the moving van was to arrive at 7:30 AM.  Guess what, no really, try to guess....  You are half right.  The van was a little late.  Why?  The fuel pump quit working and had to be replaced.  Had our run of challenging situations now begun to spill onto those around us?  Hope not.  (Those guys were amazing when they were able to arrive.  And moving the almost 100 year old piano!  WOW)  That was, also, the day Husband was to go for his first visit to the new doctor.  Oops, Husband has, likewise, lost his frame of reference and misses the appointment.  

I think that was the same day Sissy and I took advantage of Husband's military service and bought a car full of shelf liner, toilet brushes, hooks, new trash can for kitchen, etc., etc. at the 20% off everything sale at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  I was so excited to get into the place with the stuff I almost ran up the walk onto the patio.  The door was open as Husband was sitting on the patio.  So I charged into the room only to be bounced back by the rather sturdy screen door.  I went into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.  I mean, what else can one do  .....  just give me a minute to regain my composure.

Tuesday, that is still the day that follows Monday I hope, brought no significant event.  Well, maybe one or two.  For background you will need to know the new place has a really big master closet, like 7' x 12' x 10' high.  No light switch but a motion detector mounted on the 10' ceiling controls the light.  The two smallish doors open into the closet.  I was working in the closet unloading and rearranging about 5 wardrobe boxes and lots of miscellaneous boxes and tubs.  Apparently I was not moving in the correct way as the light went off so I waved my arms.  No light.  Okay, I know the thing comes on when I open the doors so let's just close the doors and open them.  That is when I discovered another unique feature of the closet, no inside door knobs.  I waved my arms wildly several times, but still no light.

Again, as with the bounce off the screen door experience,  I am cackling like a hen house full of chickens laying eggs.  I cannot speak, only laugh uncontrollably.  Evidently Sissy and Husband did not find this behavior to be the least bit abnormal and neither came to check.  Had they never heard of someone dying laughing?  I was finally able to get a couple of fingernail holds on the very edge of one door enough to get it open.  Then I stumbled into the living area gasping for breath as I attempted to explain the reason for all the egg laying sounds.

After several hours of lining shelves and unboxing kitchen stuff we decided to have dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse.   No, Longhorn was Monday night.  See, I need to re sync!  But I'll go ahead and tell how we decided to be seated in the bar to avoid a lengthy wait.  The waitperson/bartender lady comes to take our order for drinks.  We ask if we can just order our food at this same table.  "Sure" was the young woman's answer. Then, looking down in Husband's direction/lap area she asks, "Where's your little thingie".  Immediately she covers her mouth and a look of horror crosses her face as she realized where she was looking when she said "little thingie."  Now all four of us are in uncontrollable laughter.  I mean, how did she know?  She, of course, had been looking for the notification device they give people waiting for a table.

Thumbs up for finding the Little Thingie

I guess other than the closet event, Tuesday, oh, no, Husband did make it to the new doctor's office.  He was told he was old and fat.  Not breaking news to him or me.  And the AT&T guy came to get the internet up and going!!  Whoot, whoot.  But Husband almost forgot his 5 PM beer date with a surrogate son.  With us all being drag butt tired, it was another eats out night.  Mexican was the meal of choice and Mesa Rosa was just the ticket.  And the waitperson was not interested in any one's little thingie, just good service of food, not thingies.  Just to clarify.

That brings my story to this day which Sissy helped me finally figure out was Wednesday.  It still is for a few more minutes.  I knew going into the day I was really tired and achy.  I started by 7:15 working on putting away items that had not made it to a 'home' on Tuesday.  Also, tried to figure out why my clock went blank overnight.  Top outlet mysteriously quit working in the middle of the night.  Anyway just learning things about a new space.  Sissy arrived, we had some breakfast and started the routine of her unpacking and me finding homes for the stuff in the kitchen.  One item seemed to need to be taken from the top shelf above the fridge and placed in an adjacent cabinet.  Husband had just returned from a get rid of paper run to the dumpster.  He was walking away from me as I was turning on the ladder to place the item in a different place.

So I will remember for a few days that Wednesday was the day I fell from the ladder.  I was not laughing at the time but screaming for Husband to help.   He did catch me enough to break the fall and we are relatively unscathed.  He did tell me I was pretty heaving when falling.  I told him I was pretty sure the doctor would tell me I am fat and old on Friday when I go to see him. Even if I do not fall on the doctor.  Sissy did more unpacking and any high items to be put away were not done by me.  We did slow down the pace.

Around 2 we decided it was time for food.  We discovered it was too early for Logan's special.  Following the tradition of old people wanting to eat out, I had coupons for Schlotzskys.  Really good eats for three, tired folks.  The tomato basil really hit the spot.  

We returned to the apartment, Sissy left for her home and two senior citizens collapsed in the available chairs.  We did finally get up enough energy to rearrange some of the boxes so we could get to the sofa and lounge chairs.  Then we collapsed again.  While I am sure I will be 'stove up' as us old folks say I am ok at the end of the day.

I will remember Wednesday, November 13, as the day Husband caught me in mid fall.  The day he was yet again an angel, my angel.  And that, my friends, is a big thingie.

Closing Day T - 0

It is Halloween and closing day on our house.  I do not even want to go into all the details of this excruciating day.  We awoke around 6:45 to the news that Gene's 99 years old mom was in the hospital.  We still had stuff to get out of the house we were closing on at 10:00 AM.

To sum up this final day of count down is to say God has a plan for all our lives.  We have plans for our lives.  Some days the plans are not in sync.  This was one of those days.  The closing on the house was completed.  By the grace of the buyers we were given additional time to finish packing up the few items left at the house.  Wonderful friends, neighbors and cousins helped accomplish the tasks at hand.

Our evening and night are spent in the hospital with Gene's Mom.  Gene and by telephone with his brother make the excruciating decision to take no further steps to prolong their mother's life.  At 3 in the afternoon she was moved to a palliative care routine.  This simply means letting nature take its course while keeping the person as comfortable as possible.  The mission on keeping the patient comfortable with no visible signs of pain like frowning and groaning was accomplished.

Earlier on the Halloween day Edna said to Gene that he was her oldest boy.  She did not know his name.  She asked where Dad was.  Dad is how she referred to Gene's father.  Gene asked if she wanted to find Dad and she smiled yes.  Then watch for him was the gist of Gene's response.  Later in the day Gene leaned over to speak to Mom.  She raised her arm over his back and began to caress her baby boy and he caressed her.  This lasted for several minutes.  Edna was mouthing inaudible words.  Lip movements resembled I love you and bye.  But we were not positive.

Last embrace

On Thursday morning Edna was initially brought into the emergency room.  From there she was transferred to the the 3rd floor surgical wing.  The staff did not expect her to last through the day.  But she was still with us a 6 AM on Nov. 1.  And the sunrise was beautiful.

Sunrise viewed from Edna's 3rd floor room

By 7 AM the staff was told to move Edna to the hospice floor of the hospital for the remainder of her time which could be days. The hospice unit was located on the 7th floor.  The area on the 7th floor through which we would travel with Edna in the bed was the area where Gene's Dad had passed away in 2005.

The little caravan of two nurses, Gene, me and Edna in the hospital bed twisted through the maze of halls.  We joked about leaving crumbs so we would not get lost.  We arrived at the new room and the transition of responsibilities between nursing staff began.  I snapped a couple of pictures out the window.

As I turned back to the bed I noted to the nurses, "She is not breathing."  The bed was hastily rolled into place.  The nurse retrieved a stethoscope and checked for sounds.  She then said something like we are sorry for your loss.  Edna had lasted until 8:31 AM on All Saints Day, Nov. 1.  She was 99 years 13 days old.

I turned to Gene and said, "Dad was waiting on her up here and they are together again."  He agreed and we collapsed in each other arms in sobs.  We believe with all our hearts that Dad and Mom found each other that morning.  God surrounds us with angels both visible and invisible.  Each is reaching out to help those they are sent to care for along the way.  May we each recognize the angels in our lives.  Be they friends, family, health professionals or even grumpy folks that are in a hurry.  Each could be sent to give us just what is needed.

And when I started the T - countdown I guess God already knew that to which I was really counting without my knowing.