Deep Thinking

Lately I have been pondering on the fact that the man Jesus was only 33ish when he was crucified.  Many of the books of the New Testament were written by 'new' Christians.  I am not a new Christian.  No way I do have it all together by any stretch of the imagination.  There are times I feel unchallenged maybe even a little weary of the same verses being quoted in devotionals, sermons and studies.  I get the whole do unto others, I just do not always live it with my beloved husband and others.  I get the sheep and goats during the time of judgement, take care of those in need, in prison, the lonely, etc.  Yet I have watched as persons of faith have struggles in the years when body and mind fail.  I am left wondering, pondering, searching for direction on aging.  Aging in a manner that is still caring for those in need, doing for others, being a light in a dark world.  Doing these things when we are hurting, unable to control bodily functions, unable to recall simple tasks.  How do we live this last part of life?

The summer read for me is, Pilgrimage into the Last Third of Life: 7 Gateways to Spiritual Growth. This book is written by two folks.  One is new to the last third while the second is well into the last years of the final third.  Each chapter highlights a scripture about or pertaining to age.  Some familiar, others more obscure.  A short chapter of thoughts and information followed by questions.  It is thought provoking. Not my typical by the pool read of choice.  This recognition of the need for some deep thinking, the need for continued growth tells me I am still alive.  The pleasure of seeking and learning feels good, a viable being doing more than just, well, getting old.

The hope is by taking time to recenter my core the new direction needed for my journey will become more certain.  The acceptance that my life is in an entirely different phase will make it easier to focus.  Having been a person of lists, projects, doing and achieving may possibly will not always be viable.  This does not mean I am giving up on life.  It means simply adjusting.  It is somewhat like knowing when to quit wearing a certain color of lipstick, the mini skirt or too high heels.  Not because it is not longer fashionable.  Rather because it is just no longer comfortable in one's life.

As I go along on this journey (I'm not ready to call it a pilgrimage) you will read about it on this blog.  Not every day or even every week.  Maybe when, as today, I just knew it was time to put the thoughts into words.  To say 'out loud', "I've been doing this a long time.  Much of what I read bolsters the newbies.  I am still part of the world.  My mom and aunts are still part of the world as are my husband and sisters.  I know part of my responsibility is to help the newbies.  It is, also, part of my responsibility to continue to grow.  I need something new to ponder, to chew on as I swim laps.  A pattern that will reflect joy in the final third of this life given to my by the Creator.  Maybe even a pattern for others about aging "well."  I'm pretty sure there are lots of folks out there feeling the same thing.  Companions and comments on this journey will be
welcome!