September 20, 2019

While at the pulmonologist's office yesterday, she asked if I was rinsing my mouth after using the inhaler.  I answered that I was actually doing it twice.  "Ah, you are an overachiever!"  Not really just do not want a case of thrush caused by the stupid inhaler meds was my thought.  She smiled and said she got it.

This is not the first time in my life I have been told that by a stranger.  A woman from the Springfield news paper had come to my home at the recommendation of a friend.  The friend had told them my house and yard should be featured in the Christmas edition.  The lady had shown up in the late spring.  No Christmas decorations in sight.  But she was still interested in the back yard for sure.  One look and her comment was, "You are an overachiever."  I did not consider it a compliment.

Last spring two friends that I had worked with for about 20 years were in town.  We met for lunch.  Over the course of the visiting one of the group said, "Jan, you were always too hard on yourself.  You are a perfectionist, an overachiever".  What?  Just doing a job following the 4-H motto 'to make the best better' makes me an overachiever?  That seemed to indicate that I was reaching beyond my capabilities.

What do the folks that set the definition of overachiever say about this? 

Definition of overachiever   one who achieves success over and above the standard or expected level especially at an early age.

I am 10 weeks shy of 73.  Why would rinsing my mouth twice instead of once make me on overachiever?  At 47 I had the opportunity to take a blank slate of a back yard and build the garden I dreamed of for years.  Why was having a vision and following through make me an overachiever?  How did performing the assigned tasks at work to the best of my ability make me a perfectionist and an overachiever?

My one and only child has a masters degree in Industrial-organizational psychology.  Click here for an explanation of what the degree focus is.  This sweetheart of a son tells me more often than not that I need to quit trying to please my dearly departed mother.  Mom was a perfectionist and expected her four daughters to perform to that standard in every way.  We were frequently reminded of our short comings. 

And why would my son say something about not pleasing his beloved Granny Mary?  Because when he opens a gift and thanks me I habitually say the same thing.  "Now if that is not something you like just return it.  The gift receipt is in the box", says me.  The last time I did it, he put his hand up palm forward and instructed me, "Mom, you are no longer allowed to say that at the time someone opens a gift.  You have a 24 hour silent mode before you can say it, okay?"  Fine, just fine.

A new goal in life is now to just chill.  Learn how to just enjoy the moment.  Do not worry if something is not perfect or if there is dust on the furniture.  Actually I have been doing that with sewing and dusting for several years.  Though I did remove the sleeve that I accidentally sewed in upside down, oops.  Some things I want to appear normal, teehee. I have a pile of mending, sewing projects and items for two non family members to complete.  They can wait till I can feel like I can do something physical without coughing fits. 

Momma would yell at me for reading non-assignment books noting they were probably just trash and a waste of time.  I'll think I'll just continue to read a book every few days.  Time I overachieved at pleasing myself.

Ya'll have a great weekend.  Or a lousy one if you prefer.  I'll be here quietly reading.

Here is a photo from the plane as we landed in Charleston, South Carolina, June, 2019.

the waters

writing their names

read by angles

© petra domina

(aka, Rock Lady)