This Is Hard

You know it will come.  You just do not know when.  Each day you look on Facebook to see the morning sunrise posted by her.  It is still being there.  Sis #1 is hanging tough.  She is mad as she can be at having this demon child of the devil eating away at her insides.  Quietly stealing the anticipated joys from her.  But not just her, her two remaining children.  They are not young children, 62 and 60.  That does not make it any easier.   Especially since their dad died in 1999 at only 65 years old.

Sister #1 being placed in hospice care brought the reality home.  With Niece #1 being the primary person to be with her mom she is not handling the end-of-life issues at all well.   Something about being told how to help her mother pass in less pain has actually made her ill.  Neice #1 is sensitive mainly because she is so full of love for my Sister #1, her mom.  Niece #1 is torn, though she has not said it aloud.  She wants to spend as much time with her mom as possible.  But to be there, alone, in the final moments is just too much for her to even consider.

Since death would most likely give a warning, Niece #1 would probably not have to be alone.  Her brother, his family, her husband, and some of us sisters would be nearby.  There would be possibly some of the grandkids and maybe a great grandkid or two.  That is just how our family works.  At least that is how it was when our Dad passed.  Kids, grandkids, wife, sister, and a SIL were standing vigil.  Watched machines recording his last breaths, heartbeats, and finally a flat line.

Relaxing in the sun during sister time

I was alone with my mom when I found she had passed while I stepped out for a potty break.  That is not the same as administering the final doses to reduce pain for a loved one.  Not even in the same world.  So Sister #1 is discussing where she can spend her final days and lessen the burden on her children.  Her final act as a loving mother.  Because this is hard.

If there is a time in the next month we sisters and our daughters plan a get-together, Sister/Daughter time.  We originally planned to do a short cruise or something like that.  Then cancer reared its ugly head.  And that is only one of the reasons for us beating and breaking things during our recent sister time.

There you have the story behind the photo of four sisters standing holding buckets of breakable and not-so-breakable items.

All you folks take care out there!

Janice